Currently playing: Eruption by Van Halen

At 12:54 am I saw a meteor blaze across the sky.

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That's the bad thing about being an atheist. You can't just pray to your particular god after you're a total cad and then delude yourself into believing you're absolved. Instead, you have to live with it -- and actually apologize for the misdeed -- fully realizing that others probably won't forgive you at all. You just live with it and bear the consequences without kidding yourself. Or you don't give in so that you don't have to live with the guilt and disappointment and resentment.